Peanut Presents "Staying sane whilst TTC"

Born in the East of England, I’ve lived in the North and South, now settled back in the East with my husband and my dog. I’m an avid tea drinker, adorer of wine, lover of Friends and a pretty average 20-something year old female, the wrong side of 25 and fast approaching my third decade on planet Earth. In 2018, after trying to conceive for three and a half years, I was told that I was infertile. I had two blocked fallopian tubes that through no lack of trying, were refusing to unblock and were later removed from my body. I really struggled with being told I was unable to conceive naturally and experienced every feeling of grief imaginable. Shortly after, I started my blog as a way for me to release my internalised thoughts and feelings, which later became an attempt to normalise the conversation of infertility and contribute to the removal of stigma and taboos.

I have now somewhat come to terms with my diagnosis, and two fresh cycles of IVF and ICSI later, I am preparing to travel to Greece for my third fresh cycle. We have unfortunately had incredibly poor outcomes so far, and so this time we are turning it all on its head, trying a whole new protocol with a new consultant and a whole new country. I feel positive and optimistic for what is to come, and it is my goal to navigate the world of infertility as a twenty-something woman with a whole lot of life to live.

Infertility has totally changed me as a person. It reject the concept that I am strong because I have had no choice than to be, but it has taught me to be patient, to trust the process, to live freely and without a firm plan (something I have always really struggled with… control freak!), enjoying every day as much as I possibly can, to find beauty in the small things, and learn that my body is not the enemy but my home. I am on a mission to take back my life from infertility, and whilst it is very much a part of me, ensure that I do not hand myself over to it. I am Amber before I am infertile, and I will love my life, I will be happy and my life will be wholesome, however it turns out to be.

I write about everything from infertility, guides to navigating the world of trying to conceive, places to visit and things to watch, what to wear, things to eat and where to drink. My whole life is not infertility, and yours doesn’t have to be either.

I’m a mum to three girls all thanks to egg donation. ‘Mum’ is a word I feared I’d never get the chance to use to describe myself, a diagnosis of Premature Ovarian Insufficiency led to a long fertility journey including many failed IVF cycles and miscarriage before we made the momentous decision to build our family using an egg donor.

I remember feeling very alone and confused, with no-one who truly understood to talk to about my many fears for the future and it’s unknowns, which is why I’ve created this space. I began simply by sharing my story but it has become so much more, through this blog and my Instagram community I’m on a mission to raise awareness of the challenges of infertility as well as donor conception as an alternative path to parenthood. My platform is designed to validate your feelings, encourage sharing, offer support and information whilst making important connections so that you don’t have to experience this alone.

I’ve now launched a new platform, Paths to Parenthub which offers both support and connection for donor conception.

My name is Noni Martins and I am the host of Unfertility, a podcast that seeks to break the silence, shame and stigma around unconventional fertility journeys through the voices of black women (including my own).

I am Zimbabwean-British and my husband is Nigerian-British and we have been trying to conceive for over 4 years and it was close to the 3-year mark that we found out we had male factor infertility and that we would need IVF. We started IVF in Jan’ 2020 and we have had 3 failed embryo transfers so far.

As well as sharing my own unconventional fertility story, I host other Black women with their own stories, and professionals in the fertility sphere with the hope of bringing more visibility to these hidden stories.

In the words of Nichelle Polston, “If I have to be the poster child, I will become that poster child to get women to talk about their struggle… At one time, my fear was talking because I didn’t want people to gossip about me. Now, my fear is women not talking.”